A note first off. I will not be using the name of the podcast or the podcast team in question. I will refer to them as the Ugly Duckling show (UDS). I think you all know who they are. The reason I am not naming them in this post, is because they are sue happy, and I don't have the money to defend myself. And even though you can't sue opinions off the internet, in America, it isn't about who is right, it is about who has the most money.
Our story starts way back in the distant year of 2005. It was the year of Revenge of the Sith, and Celebration 3. CJ was listening to a podcast all about Star Wars. He was very involved with that show, and was winning some prizes from them. And then Inception happened. CJ had the seed of an idea to start a Star Wars podcast. He came to me with the idea, we figured out some technical details, grabbed a couple friends, and a couple months later, IHN was born.
So credit where it is due, the ugly duckling podcast gave the seed of the idea to start IHN.
A few months after starting IHN, we put a thread on the forums for the UDS, letting people know of a new show in town. People seemed to like the show, and we used that thread until I got our own forums running. The thread stayed for a while, then suddenly disappeared one day. No explanation, just gone. We sent a message to the husband of the UDS, and asked what happened. No response. A week goes by, we send another message, no response. This goes on for almost 2 months. We finally get a response that says something to the effect of , "We don't advertise for free". OK fine. We brush it off, and move forward.
Fast forward to Celebration 4. I meet the dynamic duo of the UDS. A husband and wife team, who at the time I thought were decent people. I introduced myself, they knew me, we chatted for a minute, I was excited someone actually knew who I was, and that was it.
The next day at a press conference, I meet them again. They ask if I had heard about the bomb threat during opening ceremonies. I had not. I informed them, I went back to where we were staying and crashed out. They went on to inform me they did a 3 hour live show the night before. I should have known right then....
I'm setting up my equipment on the hotbox in the back of the room, but there were some technical difficulties. So I had to resort to taping the PC from the podium. I put the DAT and mic on the podium, and started securing it with gaffers tape. The husband of the UDS came up and started doing the same thing. He looked at the DAT, and made a joke about how he thought we would be using something a little more advanced. I let it go, and didn't think much of it. I go back and sit next to them waiting for the PC to start. The wife of the team and I chat for a little bit. Talking about the con, podcasts, and just small talk. It was actually a pleasant conversation. The husband however, didn't say a single word. The PC starts, I leave my seat to get pictures, and thought that I had a nice conversation with a peer. And I don't see them again.
Fast forward to 2008. IHN is at its' peak. We have lots of listeners, have a good following, and we had some great friends joining us for the upcoming Clone Wars movie release.
A few days before the movie, I get a private message on the forums from a new user, who turned out to be the wife of the UDS. To paraphrase, it said that someone on our boards was saying nasty things about their show and the UDS didn't like it.
At the time, there was an entire thread on our boards for their show. I believed then, as I do now, that free speech is the one thing we can all rely on. I tried not to censor the comments from the users on the boards. Everyone has an opinion, and I didn't want to get in the way of what people truly thought.
I took a look at the posts mentioned, and it wasn't anything horrible. It was just that user stating that he thought their show had gone downhill, and that it sucked.
Once I saw that, I knew we had a "mole" on our boards who was running back and forth to tattle to the UDS. Because we had a closed board. You had to be registered to see messages.
I sent a message back to her letting her know that it was a users opinion, and I would not censor it. I told her I felt that we should all be part of an overall community of fans, and sometimes, the fans don't like things. Look at the movies themselves. People criticize those all the time.
She responds back that she agrees that we should all be part of a community, but she still doesn't think it is right that we let people say what they want.
I inform her that whatever my users say, is on them, and I am not about to censor them. She responds by saying that people can't just go on the internet and slander others.
This is what got me. It was not slander. First off, if it had qualified, it would have been libel. And it didn't qualify, because it was not an implied fact. It was an opinion. And if you could sue opinions off the internet, there wouldn't be an internet. But as I said, it's all about who has the most money.
A couple days pass, and we are in line for the Clone Wars movie. We have a weak wifi signal, but I am able to get on the boards a little, and I respond to the previous message. When I told her it wasn't slander and that it couldn't be libel, she flew off the handle, threatening to sue us. She said she was going to have her lawyers send a letter to my ISP, and have our show taken off the net. Well, obviously this didn't happen, because you can't do that.
She responded that she had already called her lawyer and that I could expect a phone call. At this point I was heated. So I said F it, deleted the entire thread on our boards, told her I did so, informed our users that their show was not to be discussed, and said if her lawyer calls me, I would sue her. Gave it 10 minutes, and I banned her username, and banned her entire SUBNET from ever even connecting to our boards. I never got a call, because I assume if she really did call her lawyer, he laughed in her face and hung up.
And that was pretty much it. You really don't have a lot of respect for someone after they threaten to sue you.
Yes, in the end, they got what they wanted. But it was better than having to deal with the them day in and out for however long. Plus, even a frivolous law suit would have cost money I didn't have.
So there is the story behind what happened between IHN and the UDS. Sorry it isn't an earth shattering read. I'm not much more than a generic carbon based life form, and not very good at telling stories. If you have questions, post them in the comments.
Our story starts way back in the distant year of 2005. It was the year of Revenge of the Sith, and Celebration 3. CJ was listening to a podcast all about Star Wars. He was very involved with that show, and was winning some prizes from them. And then Inception happened. CJ had the seed of an idea to start a Star Wars podcast. He came to me with the idea, we figured out some technical details, grabbed a couple friends, and a couple months later, IHN was born.
So credit where it is due, the ugly duckling podcast gave the seed of the idea to start IHN.
A few months after starting IHN, we put a thread on the forums for the UDS, letting people know of a new show in town. People seemed to like the show, and we used that thread until I got our own forums running. The thread stayed for a while, then suddenly disappeared one day. No explanation, just gone. We sent a message to the husband of the UDS, and asked what happened. No response. A week goes by, we send another message, no response. This goes on for almost 2 months. We finally get a response that says something to the effect of , "We don't advertise for free". OK fine. We brush it off, and move forward.
Fast forward to Celebration 4. I meet the dynamic duo of the UDS. A husband and wife team, who at the time I thought were decent people. I introduced myself, they knew me, we chatted for a minute, I was excited someone actually knew who I was, and that was it.
The next day at a press conference, I meet them again. They ask if I had heard about the bomb threat during opening ceremonies. I had not. I informed them, I went back to where we were staying and crashed out. They went on to inform me they did a 3 hour live show the night before. I should have known right then....
I'm setting up my equipment on the hotbox in the back of the room, but there were some technical difficulties. So I had to resort to taping the PC from the podium. I put the DAT and mic on the podium, and started securing it with gaffers tape. The husband of the UDS came up and started doing the same thing. He looked at the DAT, and made a joke about how he thought we would be using something a little more advanced. I let it go, and didn't think much of it. I go back and sit next to them waiting for the PC to start. The wife of the team and I chat for a little bit. Talking about the con, podcasts, and just small talk. It was actually a pleasant conversation. The husband however, didn't say a single word. The PC starts, I leave my seat to get pictures, and thought that I had a nice conversation with a peer. And I don't see them again.
Fast forward to 2008. IHN is at its' peak. We have lots of listeners, have a good following, and we had some great friends joining us for the upcoming Clone Wars movie release.
A few days before the movie, I get a private message on the forums from a new user, who turned out to be the wife of the UDS. To paraphrase, it said that someone on our boards was saying nasty things about their show and the UDS didn't like it.
At the time, there was an entire thread on our boards for their show. I believed then, as I do now, that free speech is the one thing we can all rely on. I tried not to censor the comments from the users on the boards. Everyone has an opinion, and I didn't want to get in the way of what people truly thought.
I took a look at the posts mentioned, and it wasn't anything horrible. It was just that user stating that he thought their show had gone downhill, and that it sucked.
Once I saw that, I knew we had a "mole" on our boards who was running back and forth to tattle to the UDS. Because we had a closed board. You had to be registered to see messages.
I sent a message back to her letting her know that it was a users opinion, and I would not censor it. I told her I felt that we should all be part of an overall community of fans, and sometimes, the fans don't like things. Look at the movies themselves. People criticize those all the time.
She responds back that she agrees that we should all be part of a community, but she still doesn't think it is right that we let people say what they want.
I inform her that whatever my users say, is on them, and I am not about to censor them. She responds by saying that people can't just go on the internet and slander others.
This is what got me. It was not slander. First off, if it had qualified, it would have been libel. And it didn't qualify, because it was not an implied fact. It was an opinion. And if you could sue opinions off the internet, there wouldn't be an internet. But as I said, it's all about who has the most money.
A couple days pass, and we are in line for the Clone Wars movie. We have a weak wifi signal, but I am able to get on the boards a little, and I respond to the previous message. When I told her it wasn't slander and that it couldn't be libel, she flew off the handle, threatening to sue us. She said she was going to have her lawyers send a letter to my ISP, and have our show taken off the net. Well, obviously this didn't happen, because you can't do that.
She responded that she had already called her lawyer and that I could expect a phone call. At this point I was heated. So I said F it, deleted the entire thread on our boards, told her I did so, informed our users that their show was not to be discussed, and said if her lawyer calls me, I would sue her. Gave it 10 minutes, and I banned her username, and banned her entire SUBNET from ever even connecting to our boards. I never got a call, because I assume if she really did call her lawyer, he laughed in her face and hung up.
And that was pretty much it. You really don't have a lot of respect for someone after they threaten to sue you.
Yes, in the end, they got what they wanted. But it was better than having to deal with the them day in and out for however long. Plus, even a frivolous law suit would have cost money I didn't have.
So there is the story behind what happened between IHN and the UDS. Sorry it isn't an earth shattering read. I'm not much more than a generic carbon based life form, and not very good at telling stories. If you have questions, post them in the comments.
In the past week, there has been a lot of talk about a mosque at the site of Ground Zero in New York. A lot of people are up in arms about this, saying it is disrespectful, unpatriotic, etc... I figured I would present my views.
First, there have been Muslim services going on the Pentagon since just days after 9/11. There have been no complaints. But dont take my word for it. Call the Pentagon Press officer for yourself and confirm it. GO ahead, call them at 703-428-0711. Or goto defense.gov/news.
So why haven't you been complaining about Muslim services in the Pentagon. Did you forget it was attacked too?
Second, everyone who is mad about a mosque seems to be basing their opinion of an entire religion on a few extreme radicals. So, I guess all these same people hate all Germans because Hitler was an extreme radical. They probably hate all "computer nerds" too, because they once got a computer virus. It's a vauge generalization.
Third, all these same mosque haters seem to have selective hatred. They scream things like it is unpatriotic to have a mosque and practice the Muslim religion. last I checked, out forefathers founded this country to get away from religious persecution. And freedom of relgion is one of the founding ideas of this country. How is it unpatriotic to practice your religion? In my eyes, practicing your religion is the MOST patrotic thing you can do in America.
Continuing on the selective hatred theme, lets look at this from another angle. Remember Oklahoma City? Timothy McVay? He was a "good ol boy" Christian. But yet he killed hundereds of innocent people. Including children. But there is a church right by the federal building in Oklahoma City. There might even be a chapel INSIDE it. By the logic of the mosque haters, having a church in Oklahoma city is unpatriotic and disrepectful. Where is your outcry about the church in Oklahoma city? Or is it, as long as it's a white guy you have no issue. But the second something is done by a person who isn't white, you freak out.
And lets look at the bigger picture. If there were to be a mosque at Ground Zero, how would that affect your daily life? If you are complaining about it, I doubt you are Muslim. So you will never visit it. And calling it unpatriotic, only proves your ignorance for the country you are supposidly being patrotic for. There are about a million more important issues to deal with in the world. Why are people focusing on this? Why not redirect that energy to helping the homeless. Feeding hungry children. Curing diseases. Fixing the economy. Take your pick.
If anyone actually reads this, and you dont agree with me, that is great. Remember, in this great country of ours, you are allowed to express your opinion. It's called the freedom of speech. Just remember, that freedom extends to people who you dont agree with.
First, there have been Muslim services going on the Pentagon since just days after 9/11. There have been no complaints. But dont take my word for it. Call the Pentagon Press officer for yourself and confirm it. GO ahead, call them at 703-428-0711. Or goto defense.gov/news.
So why haven't you been complaining about Muslim services in the Pentagon. Did you forget it was attacked too?
Second, everyone who is mad about a mosque seems to be basing their opinion of an entire religion on a few extreme radicals. So, I guess all these same people hate all Germans because Hitler was an extreme radical. They probably hate all "computer nerds" too, because they once got a computer virus. It's a vauge generalization.
Third, all these same mosque haters seem to have selective hatred. They scream things like it is unpatriotic to have a mosque and practice the Muslim religion. last I checked, out forefathers founded this country to get away from religious persecution. And freedom of relgion is one of the founding ideas of this country. How is it unpatriotic to practice your religion? In my eyes, practicing your religion is the MOST patrotic thing you can do in America.
Continuing on the selective hatred theme, lets look at this from another angle. Remember Oklahoma City? Timothy McVay? He was a "good ol boy" Christian. But yet he killed hundereds of innocent people. Including children. But there is a church right by the federal building in Oklahoma City. There might even be a chapel INSIDE it. By the logic of the mosque haters, having a church in Oklahoma city is unpatriotic and disrepectful. Where is your outcry about the church in Oklahoma city? Or is it, as long as it's a white guy you have no issue. But the second something is done by a person who isn't white, you freak out.
And lets look at the bigger picture. If there were to be a mosque at Ground Zero, how would that affect your daily life? If you are complaining about it, I doubt you are Muslim. So you will never visit it. And calling it unpatriotic, only proves your ignorance for the country you are supposidly being patrotic for. There are about a million more important issues to deal with in the world. Why are people focusing on this? Why not redirect that energy to helping the homeless. Feeding hungry children. Curing diseases. Fixing the economy. Take your pick.
If anyone actually reads this, and you dont agree with me, that is great. Remember, in this great country of ours, you are allowed to express your opinion. It's called the freedom of speech. Just remember, that freedom extends to people who you dont agree with.
07/05: 6 days with an iPad
It all started with a boy and a dream. It was a cold January morning in San Francisco. Throngs of media reporters descended upon an Apple news conference expecting a magical device to be revealed. The name of this device, the iPad. Almost immediately, the interwebs were askew with jokes about the name. But just like every other event, the Steve Jobs reality distortion effect took hold of the Apple fanboy community. And we watched live blogs across the web for updates on this magical device. We learned our day of travel to Mecca would be April 3rd.
Fast forward to April 3rd. The day of reasoning came upon us, and people from far and wide flocked to Apple retail stores, and some Best Buy stores across the nation, for their chance to play with the iPad. And for a time, things were good.
I got to play with an iPad on launch day. It was a lot of fun, and I thought to myself, it's a giant iPod touch. But it's a really nice giant iPod touch! I haggled with myself if I wanted to buy one. They had plenty in stock, and I had the money. Why not. There was just a small nagging in the back of my head that said don’t do it. So I didn't. By the grace of whatever deity you hold true, I walked out of the Columbus Ohio Apple Retail store sans iPad. A true achievement in self restraint for a me.
Over the next few weeks I struggled with my decision. I wanted one, I didn't want one, I wanted to get it for my daughter to play with as an edu-toy, I wanted it, I didn't want it..... And so on and so on. I was told on multiple occasions by multiple people that I would have one by the end of April. And did I prove them wrong!
On May 1st, I bought an iPad. It started as an innocent trip to Best Buy for a PS3 Blu ray remote. Of course I went to the ipad station and played with one for a few minutes. I got my remote, checked some blu rays, and checked out and started to leave.
My wonderful and beautiful girlfriend asked, "Aren't you going to get an iPad?" I guess that was the last bit of encouragement I needed, even though she had told me multiple times before to get it.
TO the customer service counter I went, and applied for a Best Buy credit card, and to my surprise was approved for an un-Godly amount of money. And 18 months no interest! 32GB iPad please! Cha ching! At that moment, I was the happiest boy on Earth. OK, not really that happy, but I was fairly excited.
I got home, and ripped open the packaging, marveled in the warm glow of the Apple logo, and plugged in my new toy to sync up with my Macbook. The world ceased to exist for upwards of 2 hours. Once I had the iPad synced, and some app installed, I started playing with my new magical toy. Steve Jobs had sunk in his teeth to my hands, and was not letting go. The iPad didn't leave my hands until I slept that night.
I downloaded app after app, marveling at all the cool things the iPad could do. The Marvel and IDW comic apps were great. The ABC player was awesome. And then the killer app, the Netflix app. Easily my favorite, because it worked so well. I watched some TV episodes, started a couple movies, and generally played around. I synced my Google calendar, I synced up my email, and started using the device as I would any other internet connected magical piece of technology.
Sunday was another day of playing with the iPad, and passed with me playing around, figuring out what it could do. Then came Monday morning. I took the iPad to work to show off my shiny new toy. And in the I.T. sector, it's all about the cool new toys. I was king of the nerds for exactly 3 minutes. Although since there is not an open wifi at work, I had to leech off a local coffee house on lunch. It was a weak signal but it worked for the 20 minutes I needed it too. I came to the conclusion that I should have got the 3G model of the iPad. But wait! Why do that when I could jailbreak my iPhone and use my cellular 3G access and screw AT&T in the process. A double win! It just so happened that a new jailbreak was released that day for my iPhones software. I felt it was the fate of the tech Gods. I jailbroke my phone for only the 2nd time. I then installed an app to give my phone the ability to broadcast as a wifi hotspot. I was then able to get an internet connection anywhere on my iPad. It was a great feeling.
Tuesday I used my iPad at work on lunch watching a netflix TV show, and killing my phones battery in the process. But when I got home and was using it, I noticed every LCD users worst nightmare. Dead pixels. I immediately got on Apples support site looking for an official policy on dead pixels. To which I could find none. I saw reports of other people having dead pixel issues, and had varying results in returning and exchanging them.
I called the local Apple store and was told that I could bring in the iPad, they would take a look and confirm the dead pixels, and then replace the it with a NEW iPad. As it should be.
The next day I went to the Apple store, and told them it had dead pixels, and I wanted to exchange it. An Apple tech took the iPad into the backroom to investigate. When he came back out, he told me they could replace it. But it would be a refurbished unit. Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down there ten speed, a refurbished unit? I told the Apple "Genius" that it was a brand new unit, and it was a manufacturer defect, and I expected a new unit to replace it. He told me it was Apples policy to only exchange with refurbs. I was furious. I got the dead pixel iPad back and walked out of the Apple store.
I called Best Buy on the way home, and they confirmed that they would replace the iPad with a new one... If they had one in stock, which they did not. So all I could get would be store credit. Great. So I'm stuck with a dead pixel iPad. I was so frustrated that I sent an email the His Steveness asking for guidance. And email that was ignored.
For the rest of that day, and the next, I used my iPad less and less, noticing the dead pixels, and generally finding that it didn't fit into my daily computing. I found that I am all or nothing. I either am in Photoshop, or Logic Express, or I am on my phone looking at Facebook. I realized I didn't need a $600 magical device to do what I already could with my phone and laptop. Again, that little voice in the back of my head came to the front and kicked my frontal lobe in the balls while laughing.
Since the iPad I had did have a defect I took it back to Best Buy to return with a restocking fee which they tried to charge me. I got to the counter and told the woman the story. Without turning the iPad on she says "I dont see any dead pixels". She read my mind because she then turned it on..... Sigh. She finally gave it to a Geek Squad moron and he plugged it in, and got it to the front boot screen. (I had erased it before I took it in). But they still didn't see the dead pixels. Becuase it was still on a black background. I opened the calendar app with a white background and showed them. "Thats really tiny" was the brilliant response from the Geek Squad guy. But they finally realized it was a defect, and returned the iPad with no fee. And thus, I was no longer the owner of an iPad.
My final conclusions on the device are thus:
1. It gives you an instant cool factor of +50, and lowers your THAC0 to -1
2. It's a great "couch computer" if you dont already have a laptop or Netbook.
3. If you travel a lot, it would be a lot easier to use than a laptop in a confined space.
4. If you are an avid reader, the ebooks look fantastic, and read very easily. An excellent replacement for a Kindle or other ebook reader.
5. If you have an iphone and a latop, you do NOT need an iPad. If will only frustrate you in trying to find a place for it in your daily life.
Of course these are just my opinions. It saddened me that I couldn't find a place for the iPad in my daily life. I am an avid Apple fanboy, and thought it could change the way I compute. I was wrong. While I do not see the iPad going the way of the Newton, I certainly do not see it becoming as successful as the iPhone, no matter how many times faster it sold a million than the iPhone. But who knows, maybe I'm wrong about that too. And my frontal lobe will get another good kick in the balls.
Fast forward to April 3rd. The day of reasoning came upon us, and people from far and wide flocked to Apple retail stores, and some Best Buy stores across the nation, for their chance to play with the iPad. And for a time, things were good.
I got to play with an iPad on launch day. It was a lot of fun, and I thought to myself, it's a giant iPod touch. But it's a really nice giant iPod touch! I haggled with myself if I wanted to buy one. They had plenty in stock, and I had the money. Why not. There was just a small nagging in the back of my head that said don’t do it. So I didn't. By the grace of whatever deity you hold true, I walked out of the Columbus Ohio Apple Retail store sans iPad. A true achievement in self restraint for a me.
Over the next few weeks I struggled with my decision. I wanted one, I didn't want one, I wanted to get it for my daughter to play with as an edu-toy, I wanted it, I didn't want it..... And so on and so on. I was told on multiple occasions by multiple people that I would have one by the end of April. And did I prove them wrong!
On May 1st, I bought an iPad. It started as an innocent trip to Best Buy for a PS3 Blu ray remote. Of course I went to the ipad station and played with one for a few minutes. I got my remote, checked some blu rays, and checked out and started to leave.
My wonderful and beautiful girlfriend asked, "Aren't you going to get an iPad?" I guess that was the last bit of encouragement I needed, even though she had told me multiple times before to get it.
TO the customer service counter I went, and applied for a Best Buy credit card, and to my surprise was approved for an un-Godly amount of money. And 18 months no interest! 32GB iPad please! Cha ching! At that moment, I was the happiest boy on Earth. OK, not really that happy, but I was fairly excited.
I got home, and ripped open the packaging, marveled in the warm glow of the Apple logo, and plugged in my new toy to sync up with my Macbook. The world ceased to exist for upwards of 2 hours. Once I had the iPad synced, and some app installed, I started playing with my new magical toy. Steve Jobs had sunk in his teeth to my hands, and was not letting go. The iPad didn't leave my hands until I slept that night.
I downloaded app after app, marveling at all the cool things the iPad could do. The Marvel and IDW comic apps were great. The ABC player was awesome. And then the killer app, the Netflix app. Easily my favorite, because it worked so well. I watched some TV episodes, started a couple movies, and generally played around. I synced my Google calendar, I synced up my email, and started using the device as I would any other internet connected magical piece of technology.
Sunday was another day of playing with the iPad, and passed with me playing around, figuring out what it could do. Then came Monday morning. I took the iPad to work to show off my shiny new toy. And in the I.T. sector, it's all about the cool new toys. I was king of the nerds for exactly 3 minutes. Although since there is not an open wifi at work, I had to leech off a local coffee house on lunch. It was a weak signal but it worked for the 20 minutes I needed it too. I came to the conclusion that I should have got the 3G model of the iPad. But wait! Why do that when I could jailbreak my iPhone and use my cellular 3G access and screw AT&T in the process. A double win! It just so happened that a new jailbreak was released that day for my iPhones software. I felt it was the fate of the tech Gods. I jailbroke my phone for only the 2nd time. I then installed an app to give my phone the ability to broadcast as a wifi hotspot. I was then able to get an internet connection anywhere on my iPad. It was a great feeling.
Tuesday I used my iPad at work on lunch watching a netflix TV show, and killing my phones battery in the process. But when I got home and was using it, I noticed every LCD users worst nightmare. Dead pixels. I immediately got on Apples support site looking for an official policy on dead pixels. To which I could find none. I saw reports of other people having dead pixel issues, and had varying results in returning and exchanging them.
I called the local Apple store and was told that I could bring in the iPad, they would take a look and confirm the dead pixels, and then replace the it with a NEW iPad. As it should be.
The next day I went to the Apple store, and told them it had dead pixels, and I wanted to exchange it. An Apple tech took the iPad into the backroom to investigate. When he came back out, he told me they could replace it. But it would be a refurbished unit. Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down there ten speed, a refurbished unit? I told the Apple "Genius" that it was a brand new unit, and it was a manufacturer defect, and I expected a new unit to replace it. He told me it was Apples policy to only exchange with refurbs. I was furious. I got the dead pixel iPad back and walked out of the Apple store.
I called Best Buy on the way home, and they confirmed that they would replace the iPad with a new one... If they had one in stock, which they did not. So all I could get would be store credit. Great. So I'm stuck with a dead pixel iPad. I was so frustrated that I sent an email the His Steveness asking for guidance. And email that was ignored.
For the rest of that day, and the next, I used my iPad less and less, noticing the dead pixels, and generally finding that it didn't fit into my daily computing. I found that I am all or nothing. I either am in Photoshop, or Logic Express, or I am on my phone looking at Facebook. I realized I didn't need a $600 magical device to do what I already could with my phone and laptop. Again, that little voice in the back of my head came to the front and kicked my frontal lobe in the balls while laughing.
Since the iPad I had did have a defect I took it back to Best Buy to return with a restocking fee which they tried to charge me. I got to the counter and told the woman the story. Without turning the iPad on she says "I dont see any dead pixels". She read my mind because she then turned it on..... Sigh. She finally gave it to a Geek Squad moron and he plugged it in, and got it to the front boot screen. (I had erased it before I took it in). But they still didn't see the dead pixels. Becuase it was still on a black background. I opened the calendar app with a white background and showed them. "Thats really tiny" was the brilliant response from the Geek Squad guy. But they finally realized it was a defect, and returned the iPad with no fee. And thus, I was no longer the owner of an iPad.
My final conclusions on the device are thus:
1. It gives you an instant cool factor of +50, and lowers your THAC0 to -1
2. It's a great "couch computer" if you dont already have a laptop or Netbook.
3. If you travel a lot, it would be a lot easier to use than a laptop in a confined space.
4. If you are an avid reader, the ebooks look fantastic, and read very easily. An excellent replacement for a Kindle or other ebook reader.
5. If you have an iphone and a latop, you do NOT need an iPad. If will only frustrate you in trying to find a place for it in your daily life.
Of course these are just my opinions. It saddened me that I couldn't find a place for the iPad in my daily life. I am an avid Apple fanboy, and thought it could change the way I compute. I was wrong. While I do not see the iPad going the way of the Newton, I certainly do not see it becoming as successful as the iPhone, no matter how many times faster it sold a million than the iPhone. But who knows, maybe I'm wrong about that too. And my frontal lobe will get another good kick in the balls.
Lunchtime! Finally. My tummy is rumblin. So I make my weekly trek to the new McDonalds that opened near where I work. In the area of town where I work, there are a lot of well off people. So, it's no surprise that in the summer, there is a carwash every weekend by some high school cheerleading team. God bless summer time. BUT, there is a drawback. My story follows.
As I am making my way to McDonalds (which is another story I will tell shortly), I am in the turn lane, and 2 high school girls run into the middle of the road. Physically in the street with carwash/donation signs. I slow down, since vehicluar homicide is frowned upon, and admire their tactics for at least getting people to recognize them. But I was in a hurry, since technically, I am not supposed to leave my desk. As I drive by, they start yelling "Carwash! Donations!" I wave my hand in a dismissive manner, to let them know I'm not interested. I guess one of the girls thought I was actually waving at her, and telled "Perv!" as I was turning the corner. Stupid stupid little girl. Since my attitude towards people lately has been turning to my base reactive nature, instead of my normal calm and reserved manner, I for half a second thought about turning around, and telling her off. But I didn't. I continued on to McDonalds. Good Chris.
So, a note to the cheerleaders of the world that I know are all rushing to my blog to read their latest Jonas Brothers update, I offer these pieces of unsolicited advice. Just relax, and it wont be nearly as painful.
1. If you are a high school cheerleader, use this fact to your advantage. Wear your uniform, or a bikini. You will attract more customers.
2. If you are not following step one, my car does not need washed. Ever.
3. When I wave you off, that I do not need my car washed, because you are not following rule one, I am NOT waving AT you. I'm acknowledging you, and dismissing you. If you feel the urge to call me a perv, please expect a retalitory punch to the head if I'm having a bad day. You've been warned.
Perhaps I should print up some little flyers to give to those girls with the previously mentioned rules. Yeah, I'm sure that would go over well. So in conclusion of this story, high school girls are bitches. But I have a feeling you already knew that.
I have been interuppted by work for an hour now. So I have no desire to tell the rest of the boring story.
As I am making my way to McDonalds (which is another story I will tell shortly), I am in the turn lane, and 2 high school girls run into the middle of the road. Physically in the street with carwash/donation signs. I slow down, since vehicluar homicide is frowned upon, and admire their tactics for at least getting people to recognize them. But I was in a hurry, since technically, I am not supposed to leave my desk. As I drive by, they start yelling "Carwash! Donations!" I wave my hand in a dismissive manner, to let them know I'm not interested. I guess one of the girls thought I was actually waving at her, and telled "Perv!" as I was turning the corner. Stupid stupid little girl. Since my attitude towards people lately has been turning to my base reactive nature, instead of my normal calm and reserved manner, I for half a second thought about turning around, and telling her off. But I didn't. I continued on to McDonalds. Good Chris.
So, a note to the cheerleaders of the world that I know are all rushing to my blog to read their latest Jonas Brothers update, I offer these pieces of unsolicited advice. Just relax, and it wont be nearly as painful.
1. If you are a high school cheerleader, use this fact to your advantage. Wear your uniform, or a bikini. You will attract more customers.
2. If you are not following step one, my car does not need washed. Ever.
3. When I wave you off, that I do not need my car washed, because you are not following rule one, I am NOT waving AT you. I'm acknowledging you, and dismissing you. If you feel the urge to call me a perv, please expect a retalitory punch to the head if I'm having a bad day. You've been warned.
Perhaps I should print up some little flyers to give to those girls with the previously mentioned rules. Yeah, I'm sure that would go over well. So in conclusion of this story, high school girls are bitches. But I have a feeling you already knew that.
I have been interuppted by work for an hour now. So I have no desire to tell the rest of the boring story.
It's always hard for me to figure out how to start a blog. Do I say hi? I would imagine I'm not the only person in the world ever to be stuck for an opening line. But it is something I have to think a lot about. But in this case, it looks like just talking about it has done the trick. Good on me... :-) So, with that, lets go down my list of notes on what I want to talk about.
First up, you may have heard about a 7 year old in Utah who stole his parents care to get out of church. The kid stole the car, led police on a chase,, avoided their traps, then jumped out of the car and ran from the officers. Guess what happened to him? NOTHING. Not a fucking thing. He was on (shudder) Fox "News" this morning talking about it. (I have no power over the TVs at work, and am forced to watch that shit hole of a "news" station) Now, in my mind this kid should be punished. He knew what he was doing. He ran from the cops. They should have fuckin tazed his ass! This kid is going to grow up to be bad news. Trust me, you'll hear about him again in the future. So let this be a lesson kids. Steal you parents care to get out going to church, avoid the cops, and run from them, and you get rewarded and get to be on TV! Act now!
I'm counting down the days to August 14th. Why you ask? Because District 9 comes out that day, and I am mega hyped for it. All the reviews coming out of SDCC last week were great. Twitter blew up with micro reviews, all praising it. It looks dirty and grity, and that is what I want from a sci fi alien movie. Forget these bloodless explosions that take out freeways. I want to see things blown apart. Cause thats how it is.
Plus I love the good alien movie, and it seems to have a good backstory. I did find out, that it started as pre-production for the aborted Halo movie. So perhaps the aliens in District 9 are what the Convienent (sp?) would have looked like in a Halo movie.
So mark your calendars. And go see District 9. I will be.
And finally today, the meat of my post. My growing dissappointment with Apple and the iPhone. Before you spit out your Mountain Dew, let me assure you, yes, I"m the same Chris who is the Apple fanboy. It's hard for me to type those words, but Apple is really screwing the pooch here.
We all know about the MMS and tethering debacle from WWDC a few months ago. Apple claims it's all on AT&Ts side. Sure, whatever. Their network has had MMS running ont he most basic phones for 6 years, and it's their fault. But fine, Steves world is law. Apple givith the iPhone 3.0 OS. And push notifications! But almost no apps support push yet. Even after 3 months. There are a few IM apps, and a couple Twitter apps, but the 2 things I really want push for, Facebook and Gmail, are absent.
Facebook claims to be working on, and have it out by the end of summer. We shall see. Their 3.0 client isn't even in review status yet. But it's only one guy working on it, so I can cut them some slack.
But, I can not forgive the struggle between Apple, Google, and AT&T. Apple doesn't want to give push email to Google, cause it will cut into the MobileMe subscriptions that cost $99 a year. But the think is, Yahoo mail already has free push to the iphone. So why the big deal? Probably because Google has just a few more users than Yahoo on the email front. And Apple knows it, and doesn't want to lose the MobileMe revenue stream.
Then, the battle took another turn when Apple decided to pull all Google Voice cllents from the app store. WTF?! Google Voice is perhaps the best thing to happen to the internet in the last week, and Apple is pulling it. SO what happened? The FCC stepped in and decided to tell Apple to suck it,, and started an investigation. Apple has been rejecting apps left and right for no consistent reasons, beyond they dont want it. And people are getting sick of it. If that doesn't change, a lot of people will be switching from the iiPhone to the Android, or the Pre. It really is getting to a critical mass.
There ya go. nothing earth shattering, or even great writing. Just random crap spilling from my brain. Enjoy if you like, ignore if you dont.
First up, you may have heard about a 7 year old in Utah who stole his parents care to get out of church. The kid stole the car, led police on a chase,, avoided their traps, then jumped out of the car and ran from the officers. Guess what happened to him? NOTHING. Not a fucking thing. He was on (shudder) Fox "News" this morning talking about it. (I have no power over the TVs at work, and am forced to watch that shit hole of a "news" station) Now, in my mind this kid should be punished. He knew what he was doing. He ran from the cops. They should have fuckin tazed his ass! This kid is going to grow up to be bad news. Trust me, you'll hear about him again in the future. So let this be a lesson kids. Steal you parents care to get out going to church, avoid the cops, and run from them, and you get rewarded and get to be on TV! Act now!
I'm counting down the days to August 14th. Why you ask? Because District 9 comes out that day, and I am mega hyped for it. All the reviews coming out of SDCC last week were great. Twitter blew up with micro reviews, all praising it. It looks dirty and grity, and that is what I want from a sci fi alien movie. Forget these bloodless explosions that take out freeways. I want to see things blown apart. Cause thats how it is.
Plus I love the good alien movie, and it seems to have a good backstory. I did find out, that it started as pre-production for the aborted Halo movie. So perhaps the aliens in District 9 are what the Convienent (sp?) would have looked like in a Halo movie.
So mark your calendars. And go see District 9. I will be.
And finally today, the meat of my post. My growing dissappointment with Apple and the iPhone. Before you spit out your Mountain Dew, let me assure you, yes, I"m the same Chris who is the Apple fanboy. It's hard for me to type those words, but Apple is really screwing the pooch here.
We all know about the MMS and tethering debacle from WWDC a few months ago. Apple claims it's all on AT&Ts side. Sure, whatever. Their network has had MMS running ont he most basic phones for 6 years, and it's their fault. But fine, Steves world is law. Apple givith the iPhone 3.0 OS. And push notifications! But almost no apps support push yet. Even after 3 months. There are a few IM apps, and a couple Twitter apps, but the 2 things I really want push for, Facebook and Gmail, are absent.
Facebook claims to be working on, and have it out by the end of summer. We shall see. Their 3.0 client isn't even in review status yet. But it's only one guy working on it, so I can cut them some slack.
But, I can not forgive the struggle between Apple, Google, and AT&T. Apple doesn't want to give push email to Google, cause it will cut into the MobileMe subscriptions that cost $99 a year. But the think is, Yahoo mail already has free push to the iphone. So why the big deal? Probably because Google has just a few more users than Yahoo on the email front. And Apple knows it, and doesn't want to lose the MobileMe revenue stream.
Then, the battle took another turn when Apple decided to pull all Google Voice cllents from the app store. WTF?! Google Voice is perhaps the best thing to happen to the internet in the last week, and Apple is pulling it. SO what happened? The FCC stepped in and decided to tell Apple to suck it,, and started an investigation. Apple has been rejecting apps left and right for no consistent reasons, beyond they dont want it. And people are getting sick of it. If that doesn't change, a lot of people will be switching from the iiPhone to the Android, or the Pre. It really is getting to a critical mass.
There ya go. nothing earth shattering, or even great writing. Just random crap spilling from my brain. Enjoy if you like, ignore if you dont.
20/06: Fun stories part 2
So, last week I told you the story about nearly being killed by a customs officer in Canada. This week, I will tell the story of how playing golf, on a random afternoon, with Scott, almost killed me.
This is the story that Scott and I still have different versions of. He claims it was my fault, I claim it was my fault by way of his fault. That debate continues to this day, but it's still a good story. And I can't wait to see Scotts response to my version!
It was a beautiful morning, and Scott and I decided to head over to the Wilson Rd golf course, and get a round in. We get our clubs from the car, hit the club house, pay the bill, and rent a golf cart. We head out to the first tee, and are told we have to wait for a third.
After waiting forever for a random guy to join us, we tee off. The first few holes were fine, and unimpressive (especially with my golf game....). We hit the fairway of the 4th hole, and after shooting to the green, Scott asks if he can drive the golf cart.
I decided thats fine, it's a golf cart afterall. The particular cart we had, did not have the "oh shit!" handles that are built into most carts today. And this is an important point. After hitting to the green, Scott jumps in the drivers seat, and our lives change forever. LOL
We start heading towards a small bridge that goes over a creek. Scott has the thing floored, and has the cart at top speed, and makes a sudden turn onto the bridge. In the middle of the turn, I'm about to fall out of the cart, off the bridge, and into the creek.
By instinct, I grab for something to hold onto, and grab the wheel. Scotts instinct is to turn it back the other way. While we are the bridge. And over the bridge the golf cart goes, landing upside down on top of us.
I dont know if I blacked out for a couple seconds, cause Scott says he yelled for me a couple times and got no response, and thought I was dead. I dont remember that. First thing I remember is being soaked in the water, and looking up and seeing Scott climbing out of the cart. After we figured out that we were both, A. Alive, and B. unharmed for the most part, we just kind of stood there for a second. We just took a 6 foot plunge off a wooden bridge into a foot of water with a 600 pound golf cart landing on us, and we are OK. Science be praised!
Then everything hit us at once. Scotts clubs were semi destroyed, my clubs were everywhere. Oil was leaking from the golf cart into the creek. My wrist really started hurting. The seat of the golf cart came off, and was hard to get back on. Golf balls everywhere. It was a scene I wish I had a picture of.
Well, the third guy that was playing with us ran up to us in a panic, and asked if we were OK. We told him we were, but a little dazed, and needed some help to get the cart out of the creek, and get things cleaned up. He said, "Oh ok. I'm gonna go ahead and play through", and left! This guy literally up and left us in the creek. Didn't offer to help, offer to call anyone, nope. Just played through. What a jerk.
Someone else comes by, and offers to let us use his phone to call the club house. They were not happy, as you can imagine. About 5 minutes later, a guy that Scott knew drives by on a lawn mower/tractor. He offered to help us get the cart out of the creek, and we walked back to the club house.
When we get back, the manager started yelling and screaming, demanded my insurance info, and banned us from the golf course. I never did hear from them or my insurance company. So I guess the cart was fine. We didn't go back to that course for probably close to 2 years.
And I have not been a passenger in a golf cart with Scott since. :-)
This is the story that Scott and I still have different versions of. He claims it was my fault, I claim it was my fault by way of his fault. That debate continues to this day, but it's still a good story. And I can't wait to see Scotts response to my version!
It was a beautiful morning, and Scott and I decided to head over to the Wilson Rd golf course, and get a round in. We get our clubs from the car, hit the club house, pay the bill, and rent a golf cart. We head out to the first tee, and are told we have to wait for a third.
After waiting forever for a random guy to join us, we tee off. The first few holes were fine, and unimpressive (especially with my golf game....). We hit the fairway of the 4th hole, and after shooting to the green, Scott asks if he can drive the golf cart.
I decided thats fine, it's a golf cart afterall. The particular cart we had, did not have the "oh shit!" handles that are built into most carts today. And this is an important point. After hitting to the green, Scott jumps in the drivers seat, and our lives change forever. LOL
We start heading towards a small bridge that goes over a creek. Scott has the thing floored, and has the cart at top speed, and makes a sudden turn onto the bridge. In the middle of the turn, I'm about to fall out of the cart, off the bridge, and into the creek.
By instinct, I grab for something to hold onto, and grab the wheel. Scotts instinct is to turn it back the other way. While we are the bridge. And over the bridge the golf cart goes, landing upside down on top of us.
I dont know if I blacked out for a couple seconds, cause Scott says he yelled for me a couple times and got no response, and thought I was dead. I dont remember that. First thing I remember is being soaked in the water, and looking up and seeing Scott climbing out of the cart. After we figured out that we were both, A. Alive, and B. unharmed for the most part, we just kind of stood there for a second. We just took a 6 foot plunge off a wooden bridge into a foot of water with a 600 pound golf cart landing on us, and we are OK. Science be praised!
Then everything hit us at once. Scotts clubs were semi destroyed, my clubs were everywhere. Oil was leaking from the golf cart into the creek. My wrist really started hurting. The seat of the golf cart came off, and was hard to get back on. Golf balls everywhere. It was a scene I wish I had a picture of.
Well, the third guy that was playing with us ran up to us in a panic, and asked if we were OK. We told him we were, but a little dazed, and needed some help to get the cart out of the creek, and get things cleaned up. He said, "Oh ok. I'm gonna go ahead and play through", and left! This guy literally up and left us in the creek. Didn't offer to help, offer to call anyone, nope. Just played through. What a jerk.
Someone else comes by, and offers to let us use his phone to call the club house. They were not happy, as you can imagine. About 5 minutes later, a guy that Scott knew drives by on a lawn mower/tractor. He offered to help us get the cart out of the creek, and we walked back to the club house.
When we get back, the manager started yelling and screaming, demanded my insurance info, and banned us from the golf course. I never did hear from them or my insurance company. So I guess the cart was fine. We didn't go back to that course for probably close to 2 years.
And I have not been a passenger in a golf cart with Scott since. :-)
14/06: Fun stories
Scott is one of my best friends in the world, and also happens to be the brother of the mother of my child. Also known as Denise. So it usually a good thing when you are friends with your girlfriends family. And Scott and I are pretty close, as I consider him a brother. I actually talk to him more than I do my actual brothers. But thats another story.
As stated above though, there are 2 times when we could have been killed very easily. I make it sound worse than it is, but that is for dramatic effect if you dont know the story. And this is a story both Scott and I have told a lot, and we always get a kick out of telling. So here it is.
Scott and I went to Windsor Ontario Canada a few years ago. Actually it was longer than that, but I can't remember the exact date, but it was before 9/11. We went to casino, won some money, not much, but a little, and headed over to The Cheetah Club. It's exactly what you think it is. The most awesomest strip club of all time, that I have ever been too.
So we decide to come home. Obviously you have to go through customs to get back into the United States. We wait in line to get back into the U.S., making fun of people in cars, telling jokes, listening to music, and just waiting. We finally get to the booth, and immediatly the customs agent is a giant dick. Here is a summary of the exchange between him and me.
USCA: nationality
Me and Scott: US
USCA: Documents
Hand over our license and birth certs
USCA: Why were you in Canada
Me: Casino and strip clubs
USCA: Where did you stay?
Me: Just a day trip, didn't stay anywhere
USCA: Do you have anything to declare?
Me: Just this bottle of Dew I bought at 7-11 while getting gas and a candy bar
USCA: Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the car
Now, this is where it get interesting. I get out of the car, and he tells me to open the trunk. He asks if he is going to find anything he shouldn't, I tell him no, and he begins his inspection. As he is going through the 3 metric tons of crap I had in my trunk at the time, Scott decides to get out of the car. The customs agent puts his hand on his gun and orders Scott too get back in the car!
USCA: SIR GET BACK IN THE CAR!
Scott: (laughing) OK man settle down
USCA: SIR! IN THE CAR NOW! (Hand on gun)
Scott: ( still laughing) OK, I'll get back in the car (and moves as slowly as possible to get in the car)
USCA: (to me) Close the trunk and return to your car
I close the trunk, I get back in the car, and put my seatbelt on, and turn the car back on. As I turn the car on Scott says to the customs agent, "Thanks!" and waves.
The guy was not amused.
USCA: I HAVE NOT RELEASED YOU YET! YOU DO NOT OWN CANADA!
At this point, Scott and I lose it laughing. The guy must have really thought he has us busted for something, and after realizing we weren't doing anything wrong, felt embarassed. He gave me back our documents, and said "Go".
Thus, Scott almost got one of us killled by a customs agent. Now, going by the exchange above, did you get the feeling that if you were Scott, you should have got out of the car? If you answered yes, you are wrong. Thats a good way to get a gun drawn on you. But nowadays, you would probably be arrested for terrorism, or some other BS law they make up.
So thats part one of how being friends with Scott can possibly get you killed. I'll tell part 2 at some point in the future. Teaser: it involves golf carts.
Lets keep the interesting story train rolling by going back to 2001 when I worked in an adult book store. Yes, an adult book store that sold videos, magazines, and toys. There were a lot of interesting things that happened in that store, and I'll tell those stories at some point. But I thought it would be funny to tell a couple of the shorter stories.
First, I worked the 4p-Midnight shift Friday and Saturday nights. Prime time for people visiting the store. So there were always people coming and going. (Ha ha, I know). One random eveing, it was fairly busy, people renting videos, buying stuff, a normal night. The phone rings around 8pm, and here is the exchange.
Me: Trabue books
Guy: Hi I was just in there, are you the guy that was working about 45 minutes ago?
Me: yeah, I'm the only one working till midnight. How can I help you?
Guy: Well, I was in a while ago, and thought you were kinda cute. So, whats up?
Me: Huh?
Guy: Ya know, we should get together sometime
Me: Ummm, no thanks. I'm straight.
Guy: Are you sure?
Me: yeah, very sure. Not that I have a problem with gay people, just not my thing.
Guy: Well, haven't you ever thought of experimenting?
Me: No.
Guy: Oh.
(long pause)
Me: I'm sorry, if there isn't anything else, I have customers to help
Click
Strangely enough, that was only 1 of about 3 unusual calls I ever got working there. I thought it would always get prank calls, but it got very few.
This next one is pretty messed up.
A few weeks after that phone call, I was working at the store, and a professional looking man comes up the counter. Suit, tie, shoes, the whole works. It was around 10pm. I didn't recognize him, but he said he had purchased some lube. So big deal, whatever. The man informs me that he would like to return this half used bottle.
I laughed at him. I thought he was joking. He wasn't.
Me: Sir, you can't return that
Guy: I dont need it anymore, and I want my money back
Me: (dumbfounded) Sir, i'm sorry, you can not return that item. It is half used, and even if it wasn't, I couldn't give you your money back.
Guy: Thats not acceptable.
Me: I'm sorry, but we can not do that. It would be like drinking half a soda, and asking for your money back
Guy: I want to speak with your manager
Me: I'm the only one here, I am the manager
Guy: I said I want to talk to YOUR MANAGER
me: Fine.
I call my boss at the time, explain to him what this guy is trying to do. My boss laughs, then I tell him the guy is serious, and wants to talk to him. I put the guy on the phone with my boss, the guy goes, "Uh huh"....... uh huh........ yeah........ok." And hands the phone back to me, and leaves while I talk to my boss. My boss is telling me how the guy finally understood, and everything should be cool.
I guess I shouldn't have tuned my back though as I was talking. Cause as I was about to hang up, I realize there is an odd color on the walls. Yes, the color of the lube the guy was trying to return. well, he returned it all right. By throwing it all over the walls, floors, and all over the sign and ground outside. I realize this with my boss on the phone, and he says, "well, clean it up." WTF?!
I hung up and, while trying not to slip, ran outside to see if I could get the guys license plate number, but he was already gone. Luckily, he didn't do anything to my car.
So, for the next 2 hours, I got to clean up a substance that is designed to make things slippery. Off of the floors. Off of the walls. Off of the toys it got on. Off the sign outside. Off the ground so people wouldn't slip.... It was not a good night.
So there are somes stories about things that have happened to me. I realize they may not be that entertaining, but it was something to put in the ol' blog. And I dont think this would have fit on twitter. :-)
As stated above though, there are 2 times when we could have been killed very easily. I make it sound worse than it is, but that is for dramatic effect if you dont know the story. And this is a story both Scott and I have told a lot, and we always get a kick out of telling. So here it is.
Scott and I went to Windsor Ontario Canada a few years ago. Actually it was longer than that, but I can't remember the exact date, but it was before 9/11. We went to casino, won some money, not much, but a little, and headed over to The Cheetah Club. It's exactly what you think it is. The most awesomest strip club of all time, that I have ever been too.
So we decide to come home. Obviously you have to go through customs to get back into the United States. We wait in line to get back into the U.S., making fun of people in cars, telling jokes, listening to music, and just waiting. We finally get to the booth, and immediatly the customs agent is a giant dick. Here is a summary of the exchange between him and me.
USCA: nationality
Me and Scott: US
USCA: Documents
Hand over our license and birth certs
USCA: Why were you in Canada
Me: Casino and strip clubs
USCA: Where did you stay?
Me: Just a day trip, didn't stay anywhere
USCA: Do you have anything to declare?
Me: Just this bottle of Dew I bought at 7-11 while getting gas and a candy bar
USCA: Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the car
Now, this is where it get interesting. I get out of the car, and he tells me to open the trunk. He asks if he is going to find anything he shouldn't, I tell him no, and he begins his inspection. As he is going through the 3 metric tons of crap I had in my trunk at the time, Scott decides to get out of the car. The customs agent puts his hand on his gun and orders Scott too get back in the car!
USCA: SIR GET BACK IN THE CAR!
Scott: (laughing) OK man settle down
USCA: SIR! IN THE CAR NOW! (Hand on gun)
Scott: ( still laughing) OK, I'll get back in the car (and moves as slowly as possible to get in the car)
USCA: (to me) Close the trunk and return to your car
I close the trunk, I get back in the car, and put my seatbelt on, and turn the car back on. As I turn the car on Scott says to the customs agent, "Thanks!" and waves.
The guy was not amused.
USCA: I HAVE NOT RELEASED YOU YET! YOU DO NOT OWN CANADA!
At this point, Scott and I lose it laughing. The guy must have really thought he has us busted for something, and after realizing we weren't doing anything wrong, felt embarassed. He gave me back our documents, and said "Go".
Thus, Scott almost got one of us killled by a customs agent. Now, going by the exchange above, did you get the feeling that if you were Scott, you should have got out of the car? If you answered yes, you are wrong. Thats a good way to get a gun drawn on you. But nowadays, you would probably be arrested for terrorism, or some other BS law they make up.
So thats part one of how being friends with Scott can possibly get you killed. I'll tell part 2 at some point in the future. Teaser: it involves golf carts.
Lets keep the interesting story train rolling by going back to 2001 when I worked in an adult book store. Yes, an adult book store that sold videos, magazines, and toys. There were a lot of interesting things that happened in that store, and I'll tell those stories at some point. But I thought it would be funny to tell a couple of the shorter stories.
First, I worked the 4p-Midnight shift Friday and Saturday nights. Prime time for people visiting the store. So there were always people coming and going. (Ha ha, I know). One random eveing, it was fairly busy, people renting videos, buying stuff, a normal night. The phone rings around 8pm, and here is the exchange.
Me: Trabue books
Guy: Hi I was just in there, are you the guy that was working about 45 minutes ago?
Me: yeah, I'm the only one working till midnight. How can I help you?
Guy: Well, I was in a while ago, and thought you were kinda cute. So, whats up?
Me: Huh?
Guy: Ya know, we should get together sometime
Me: Ummm, no thanks. I'm straight.
Guy: Are you sure?
Me: yeah, very sure. Not that I have a problem with gay people, just not my thing.
Guy: Well, haven't you ever thought of experimenting?
Me: No.
Guy: Oh.
(long pause)
Me: I'm sorry, if there isn't anything else, I have customers to help
Click
Strangely enough, that was only 1 of about 3 unusual calls I ever got working there. I thought it would always get prank calls, but it got very few.
This next one is pretty messed up.
A few weeks after that phone call, I was working at the store, and a professional looking man comes up the counter. Suit, tie, shoes, the whole works. It was around 10pm. I didn't recognize him, but he said he had purchased some lube. So big deal, whatever. The man informs me that he would like to return this half used bottle.
I laughed at him. I thought he was joking. He wasn't.
Me: Sir, you can't return that
Guy: I dont need it anymore, and I want my money back
Me: (dumbfounded) Sir, i'm sorry, you can not return that item. It is half used, and even if it wasn't, I couldn't give you your money back.
Guy: Thats not acceptable.
Me: I'm sorry, but we can not do that. It would be like drinking half a soda, and asking for your money back
Guy: I want to speak with your manager
Me: I'm the only one here, I am the manager
Guy: I said I want to talk to YOUR MANAGER
me: Fine.
I call my boss at the time, explain to him what this guy is trying to do. My boss laughs, then I tell him the guy is serious, and wants to talk to him. I put the guy on the phone with my boss, the guy goes, "Uh huh"....... uh huh........ yeah........ok." And hands the phone back to me, and leaves while I talk to my boss. My boss is telling me how the guy finally understood, and everything should be cool.
I guess I shouldn't have tuned my back though as I was talking. Cause as I was about to hang up, I realize there is an odd color on the walls. Yes, the color of the lube the guy was trying to return. well, he returned it all right. By throwing it all over the walls, floors, and all over the sign and ground outside. I realize this with my boss on the phone, and he says, "well, clean it up." WTF?!
I hung up and, while trying not to slip, ran outside to see if I could get the guys license plate number, but he was already gone. Luckily, he didn't do anything to my car.
So, for the next 2 hours, I got to clean up a substance that is designed to make things slippery. Off of the floors. Off of the walls. Off of the toys it got on. Off the sign outside. Off the ground so people wouldn't slip.... It was not a good night.
So there are somes stories about things that have happened to me. I realize they may not be that entertaining, but it was something to put in the ol' blog. And I dont think this would have fit on twitter. :-)
Anyone who sends me texts on a regular basis knows this, but I thought I would share with the world. Or the -1 people who read this blog.
First off, let me say that texting is a scam. The phone companies make 99.9 percent profit from text message plans. That is because they use the carrier information in regular phone calls to send texts. So it costs them next to nothing to actually send texts out. But yet we have to pay upwards of $20 a month for the privledge of sending them.
I only pay $5 a month for 200 texts. So as you can imagine, since everyone wants to text from their PHONE, instead of CALLING people, my text limit is short close to the end of the month. Hence, I have come up with a solution. The 3 text rule. If you can not convery all the information you need to in 3 texts (6 overall, 3 out, 3 in), then call the person. For the average 16 year old girl with the unlimited plan and hyperactive brain, I guess communicating in 160 characters at a time is more effcient. But for old people like me (30 this year), I would just prefer to, oh I dont know, CALL someone on my PHONE...... I just dont get the whole texting thing. people say it's great for when you can't talk. OK, but in situations when you can't talk, probably 90 percent of the time, you shouldn't be talking anyway. So sending a text is distracting you from what you SHOULD be doing.
Now, I will concede that texting a quick message is useful, and for multiple people. Like telling 6 people poker is at 8 on Friday. Good text. telling 6 people poker is Friday at 8, and carrying on an hour long text conversation about it? Bad text.
Quick sidebar: I was at McDonalds a few months ago on my way to work, at the tiem working 4p-1am. There were some high school girls at the counter complaining that their food was wrong. (And the girl was a total bitch about it too, but thats beside the point.) The 2 girls were having a conversation, while they were both texting on their phones to other people, without looking at the keyboard, and it was the fastest thing I've ever seen. It was pretty wild. I was kind of staring at how fast they were going, but they were also high school girls in the required school girl getup for Catholic schools, I decided that staring was bad. But it was fascinating to watch. I know that sounds bad, but get your mind out of the gutter for a minute and think about it. 4 different conversations going on at once, all intertwined, by verbal and non-verbal communication. I guess my brain just isn't wired like that.
So, lets get on to washing your hands. Everyone knows you are supposed to wash your hands after you goto the bathroom. Or touch something dirty and eat, or sneeze, etc, etc..... I was at the kroger on Henderson Rd. in Columbus the other night, when I had to pee. I couldn't wait, so I hit teir restroom. As I walk in, a Kroger employee walks out of a stall, that smelled horrible, and walked right out into the store. Without washing his hands. This guy took the smelliest poo of all time, and didn't flush, and didn't wash his hands. And then went out and started bagging peoples groceries.... yeah, gross.
So at Kroger last night, we picked up a couple things, and this guy was the bagger. I was not about to let this guy touch my groceries, so I was about to tell him that I would bag my own stuff. But luckily he walked away, and someone else bagged the stuff. Of course, I dont know if this guy washes his hands or not, but at least I dont have any eye witness proof to the contrary.
And finally today, Facebook. I've fallen into it's clutches. I downloaded the iPhone Facebook app, and I use it the most of any of the apps on my phone. It's insane the amount of time I waste just looking at the mobile version of FB. I never really got into the whole myspace/social network thing. But I like the comment ability of Facebook so much better than Myspace. And Facebook is more of a social updater, not a social website. People set up a myspace and act like they set up a real webpage. Sorry to tell you this, but no, you didn't. You got some stupid pre formatted theme, and stole a couple pictures from Google, and pasted a URL in. That does not qualify as a web page. When you code it by hand, upload it to your own server, and know the difference between the
tag and the , then you can say you have a webpage. Myspace does not qualify.
But Facebook is slightly different, and it's enough for me to choose it as my social network/updater. There are still areas for your likes, dislikes, blah blah blah. But the status and comment system is the bread and butter. It's the first thing you see on the site. Update status. And you can see all your friends status, in one nice layout. And it's so easy to reply back. I've replied to so many status' over the last few days, it's great. And it a great way to see how your friends are feeling at that moment, and it's very easy to change the status. The integrated chat feature is great as well. Instead of sending messages back and forth to your friends that are online, you can just start a chat. Granted, you could probably just call them, but chatting online is just as good.
At least it's not based on a 200 message per month plan.....
So thats about it for now. Sophie and Nise are doing well, and we are one small happy family.
First off, let me say that texting is a scam. The phone companies make 99.9 percent profit from text message plans. That is because they use the carrier information in regular phone calls to send texts. So it costs them next to nothing to actually send texts out. But yet we have to pay upwards of $20 a month for the privledge of sending them.
I only pay $5 a month for 200 texts. So as you can imagine, since everyone wants to text from their PHONE, instead of CALLING people, my text limit is short close to the end of the month. Hence, I have come up with a solution. The 3 text rule. If you can not convery all the information you need to in 3 texts (6 overall, 3 out, 3 in), then call the person. For the average 16 year old girl with the unlimited plan and hyperactive brain, I guess communicating in 160 characters at a time is more effcient. But for old people like me (30 this year), I would just prefer to, oh I dont know, CALL someone on my PHONE...... I just dont get the whole texting thing. people say it's great for when you can't talk. OK, but in situations when you can't talk, probably 90 percent of the time, you shouldn't be talking anyway. So sending a text is distracting you from what you SHOULD be doing.
Now, I will concede that texting a quick message is useful, and for multiple people. Like telling 6 people poker is at 8 on Friday. Good text. telling 6 people poker is Friday at 8, and carrying on an hour long text conversation about it? Bad text.
Quick sidebar: I was at McDonalds a few months ago on my way to work, at the tiem working 4p-1am. There were some high school girls at the counter complaining that their food was wrong. (And the girl was a total bitch about it too, but thats beside the point.) The 2 girls were having a conversation, while they were both texting on their phones to other people, without looking at the keyboard, and it was the fastest thing I've ever seen. It was pretty wild. I was kind of staring at how fast they were going, but they were also high school girls in the required school girl getup for Catholic schools, I decided that staring was bad. But it was fascinating to watch. I know that sounds bad, but get your mind out of the gutter for a minute and think about it. 4 different conversations going on at once, all intertwined, by verbal and non-verbal communication. I guess my brain just isn't wired like that.
So, lets get on to washing your hands. Everyone knows you are supposed to wash your hands after you goto the bathroom. Or touch something dirty and eat, or sneeze, etc, etc..... I was at the kroger on Henderson Rd. in Columbus the other night, when I had to pee. I couldn't wait, so I hit teir restroom. As I walk in, a Kroger employee walks out of a stall, that smelled horrible, and walked right out into the store. Without washing his hands. This guy took the smelliest poo of all time, and didn't flush, and didn't wash his hands. And then went out and started bagging peoples groceries.... yeah, gross.
So at Kroger last night, we picked up a couple things, and this guy was the bagger. I was not about to let this guy touch my groceries, so I was about to tell him that I would bag my own stuff. But luckily he walked away, and someone else bagged the stuff. Of course, I dont know if this guy washes his hands or not, but at least I dont have any eye witness proof to the contrary.
And finally today, Facebook. I've fallen into it's clutches. I downloaded the iPhone Facebook app, and I use it the most of any of the apps on my phone. It's insane the amount of time I waste just looking at the mobile version of FB. I never really got into the whole myspace/social network thing. But I like the comment ability of Facebook so much better than Myspace. And Facebook is more of a social updater, not a social website. People set up a myspace and act like they set up a real webpage. Sorry to tell you this, but no, you didn't. You got some stupid pre formatted theme, and stole a couple pictures from Google, and pasted a URL in. That does not qualify as a web page. When you code it by hand, upload it to your own server, and know the difference between the
tag and the , then you can say you have a webpage. Myspace does not qualify.
But Facebook is slightly different, and it's enough for me to choose it as my social network/updater. There are still areas for your likes, dislikes, blah blah blah. But the status and comment system is the bread and butter. It's the first thing you see on the site. Update status. And you can see all your friends status, in one nice layout. And it's so easy to reply back. I've replied to so many status' over the last few days, it's great. And it a great way to see how your friends are feeling at that moment, and it's very easy to change the status. The integrated chat feature is great as well. Instead of sending messages back and forth to your friends that are online, you can just start a chat. Granted, you could probably just call them, but chatting online is just as good.
At least it's not based on a 200 message per month plan.....
So thats about it for now. Sophie and Nise are doing well, and we are one small happy family.
28/12: Yes, it's been a long time
I'm sorry. It's been month and months since I last blogged. I'm just not taht interesting of a person. Plus my life is spread out across the web. www.sophianicole.net, ihnradio.com, facebook, myspace, blah blah blah. You would think I try to put it all on one site. But I dont have the time anymore. The reason being, Sophia was bor in October. Yes, she was a girl, as you probably already know.
She is now 2 months old, and a little bundle of smiling, popping, bottomless feeding, joy. I just can't wait until she is old enough to take to the park, or the zoo, and actually play. Now all she does is sit and kick her legs, and coo. But you gotta crawl before you can walk. And that going to be an adventure!
Christmas was good. I got a new all in one printer, with a wifi print server built in. So I can now print and scan wirelessly from my macbook. Which kicks ass! Now I dont have to transfer files to the PC to print. It rocks. I also got the Wii Clone Wars lightsaber duel game. I've only played it for about 3 minutes, but I'll get to this weekend.
Sophie got tons of clothes, as expected. And since she is growing out of her older stuff, it's a great time to get some new stuff.
Denise is doing great. She got some nice jewerly for Christmas, and the kick ass personalized Sttelers jersey I got for her. Her cataract surgeries are done, and she can now see without her glasses. I'm very happy that everything went well, and she only needs reading glasses now.
There hasn't been much else going on. Work, sleep, feed Sophie, sleep, work, repeat. On ocassion, we podcast on the weekend.
I was going to write about my experience with door to door sales, but I figured that would make a better post some other time. You know, in 7 months when I remember I have a blog....
She is now 2 months old, and a little bundle of smiling, popping, bottomless feeding, joy. I just can't wait until she is old enough to take to the park, or the zoo, and actually play. Now all she does is sit and kick her legs, and coo. But you gotta crawl before you can walk. And that going to be an adventure!
Christmas was good. I got a new all in one printer, with a wifi print server built in. So I can now print and scan wirelessly from my macbook. Which kicks ass! Now I dont have to transfer files to the PC to print. It rocks. I also got the Wii Clone Wars lightsaber duel game. I've only played it for about 3 minutes, but I'll get to this weekend.
Sophie got tons of clothes, as expected. And since she is growing out of her older stuff, it's a great time to get some new stuff.
Denise is doing great. She got some nice jewerly for Christmas, and the kick ass personalized Sttelers jersey I got for her. Her cataract surgeries are done, and she can now see without her glasses. I'm very happy that everything went well, and she only needs reading glasses now.
There hasn't been much else going on. Work, sleep, feed Sophie, sleep, work, repeat. On ocassion, we podcast on the weekend.
I was going to write about my experience with door to door sales, but I figured that would make a better post some other time. You know, in 7 months when I remember I have a blog....
17/07: Random brain sillage
Hmm, that sounds like a cool site name. Maybe I should check to see if that is taken. randombrainspillage.com.
So, my life. Whats going on? Well, this Saturday the 19th, we will find out, via 4D ultrasound, the sex of my child. Yes, I have reproduced. Scary thought, but you should have absorbed that by now. Everything so far has been going good. Due date is October 15th-ish. Everyone has a theory as to what the kid is though. And that is kind of gettignon my nerves. Because Denise is carrying low, it's boy. Because she gained weight in her butt, it's a girl. Stupid fucking shit like that. I can't believe that in this day or medical science, people still believe in this stupid nonsense. Here is my prediction. It's gonna be a child. Betcha a million bucks I'm right!
So, in non-baby news, there really isn't any. I'm trying to revive the local Star Wars community and bring it all together for The Clone Wars premiere in August. Our old fan force forums were about to be shut down, but I wont let it happen! There are still some locals hanging around the TFN boards, so thats good to see. It's partially my fault that the local scene hasn't been as active as it once was. Matt, Bill, CJ and I went off and started the ihnradio.com podcast, then kind of got our own boards, and went international. Now that we have built the cast up to where we are known in the SW podcasting community, it's time to bring it back home. I know there are tons of Star Wars fans here in Columbus, but they all seem to be very shy. There were hundereds of people at the ROTS line. Hopefully we can get 50 for the TCW line.... Lets hope!
Thats about all I have at the moment. I dont have any rants right now. A shock, I know. Enjoy it while it lasts!
So, my life. Whats going on? Well, this Saturday the 19th, we will find out, via 4D ultrasound, the sex of my child. Yes, I have reproduced. Scary thought, but you should have absorbed that by now. Everything so far has been going good. Due date is October 15th-ish. Everyone has a theory as to what the kid is though. And that is kind of gettignon my nerves. Because Denise is carrying low, it's boy. Because she gained weight in her butt, it's a girl. Stupid fucking shit like that. I can't believe that in this day or medical science, people still believe in this stupid nonsense. Here is my prediction. It's gonna be a child. Betcha a million bucks I'm right!
So, in non-baby news, there really isn't any. I'm trying to revive the local Star Wars community and bring it all together for The Clone Wars premiere in August. Our old fan force forums were about to be shut down, but I wont let it happen! There are still some locals hanging around the TFN boards, so thats good to see. It's partially my fault that the local scene hasn't been as active as it once was. Matt, Bill, CJ and I went off and started the ihnradio.com podcast, then kind of got our own boards, and went international. Now that we have built the cast up to where we are known in the SW podcasting community, it's time to bring it back home. I know there are tons of Star Wars fans here in Columbus, but they all seem to be very shy. There were hundereds of people at the ROTS line. Hopefully we can get 50 for the TCW line.... Lets hope!
Thats about all I have at the moment. I dont have any rants right now. A shock, I know. Enjoy it while it lasts!
